#i made an apple pie! and a shepards pie!

[motleyistheonlywear]

Please score, Croatia, I've been having a lovely day

[small-sinclair]

Hiii🌙🌙Wanted to ask if you can write headcanons of Johnny Slaughter😖 🙏 of course you don't have to do it🤗⭐ it was just a question.. ☺️😶

I can do that. I don't mind!

Headcanons of Johnny Slaughter

tw: mentions of killings, blood

He is the biggest goofball you'll meet if he doesn't want to kill you. He has a lot of bad puns and jokes.

Just for the heck of it, he says something so out there and watches his family argue/fight. He'll stay quite for a moment with a shit eating grin and leave the madness.

Banned from touching the radio.

Banned from Cook's kitchen.

Banned from Sissy's room (don't ask what happened).

VERY knowledgeable about flowers and butterflies. He has a lot of books over butterflies.

Johnny does like to go to a certain house in town to visit an old woman that reminds him of his grandmother when she was alive. He'll sit with her on the front porch in the summers and listen to her stories even if she already told it. She lives by herself and her family doesn't visit her often, which makes both her and Johnny a bit sad.

I have an hc of him having a long scar on his back that stretches from his upper back and curves to the left side of his bode like a 'J'. He got it when he fell out of a tree.

This man knows how to play the fiddle.

Ask him about his bottle cap collection.

h

I think he is a bit overprotective of Bubba. If a victim is making fun of him or taunting him, Johnny would not show mercy as they kill them.

HATES milk. He will never drink it.

He enjoys reading (tell no one).

Can't cook, but knows how to bake! Loves making muffins and cookies!

Johnny has a soft spot for dogs and cats. There's an orange cat that lives in the barn named Froggie; she's Johnny's cat.

He has another cat named Lucky; she's a turtle cat.

Johnny has a dog, too. A German Shepard named Cain.

I actually think he was once in love, but not with the girl he kidnapped (can't remember her name for the life of me). She and Johnny used to play by the watering hole before it dried out. When she got older, she had to move away. Before she did, she kissed Johnny goodbye, giving him his first kiss. He thinks about her from time to time, but shakes it away. If she really loved him, she would've came back and visited, but she hasn't.

Has kissed a guy before when he was drunk. May or may not had a make-out session behind the bar. (He enjoyed it?)

When he's not killing, he's working part time at the town's car shop. He's really good at it, too!

He actually loves kids and wants kids of his own one day, but he won't be able to stay around because of his way of life.

There's a family photo folded in his back pocket he keeps.

Whenever he as a dumb idea, he says it out loud, gets a look from Sissy and Nubbins, and they do it. All three of them share 1 brain cell when it comes to doing something dumb together.

He knows he's adopted, but he's okay with it... sometimes. He does think about what could've been from time to time, but he shakes it off. Nothing tastes sweeter than blood on his lips and Nancy's apple pie.

Johnny is touch starved.

There was this one kill that he remembers and thinks about a lot. It was with a girl about his age. Instead of running with her friends, she went to Johnny. He knew it was an easy kill, but he didn't expect that her last moments was giving him a hug and promising that everything will be okay. He didn't know why he held her close for a while and stayed with her until her last breath. His family ended up having her for dinner, but Johnny made sure he took her bones and charm necklace. He put her bones in a shoe box and buried her in the family grave. Sometimes, he wears the charm necklace and thinks of her, remembering her promise that everything was going to be okay.

[lace-coffin]

May I request some domestic Asa headcannons? Like, what are his cooking habits? The types of food he prefers to actually eat and not hasty ones he grabbed in a hurry? Thank youuu <3

What kind of meals does Asa Emory like to cook and eat?

Requests are open!

Asa Emory / gn!Reader

Trigger warning for power exchange/power dynamics/petplay

This is a super fun idea omg thank you! I’m still going to go with the whole owner/pet angle since this is Asa, I hope that’s ok! It will still be domestic but with the dynamic too💗

Asa doesn’t have much time to cook regularly, constantly caught between lecturing at the local uni about a twenty minute drive away and keeping up with his collection at the hotel.

On days when Asa has free time or is just determined to get something nutritious in his stomach he dusts off his recipe book he bought on a whim on discount and gets to work.

Asa likes to think he has a pretty good repertoire of kitchen skills, not exactly a five star chef but better than most men his age.

He prefers to centre either meat or fish in his meals, usually covered in a flavourful marinade or rubbed down in herbs and spices. Asa enjoys vegetables to be steamed as opposed to boiled, he thinks it makes them taste sweeter and softer, texture is important to him. Flavoured rice is always a good side.

He’s more fond of sweets than you think he would be judging from his standoffish appearance. Dessert is a must, Asa tells himself it’s all part of a balanced diet and he can’t skip it because it wouldn’t be right. In reality he just really wants the apple pie, enjoying the tartness of it and unable to deny himself this simple pleasure.

And then there’s you. Asa has always been one to care for his pets to the best of his ability, keeping their meals on a schedule. Even if he’s short on time meals will be prepared a day or two prior and put in the freezer. He’s stubborn when it comes to making the meals balanced, often erring on the side of health obsessed when it comes to his pets, like a dad telling you to finish your vegetables before you can have dessert. He’s not too bothered if he has to throw a microwave meal on and eat that when he comes home late but he always likes to make sure you have something good for you available. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t bring home takeout sometimes, he loves how excited you get at the junk food and the way you flop down on his lap afterwards, letting him rub your tummy as you try to stop feeling bloated.

Dinner is made as you watch from the floor on your dog bed, head resting on your folded arms, watching your master fondly but also a little impatient and hungry. Occasionally Asa humours you and wears the frilly apron you begged him to order under the guise of you wearing it, only to present it to him with puppy eyes at dinner that night. He’s a strict and sadistic owner but he can be a total dork.

“Dinners ready. Come”. Asa snaps his fingers and points to the three metal bowls on the floor near to the dining table, one bowl next to his seat. The two large German Shepard’s ears perk at this and they scamper over, sitting at Asa’s heals, tails wagging. He looks at you expectantly as you crawl over and join the dogs at his feet.

The two metal bowls are filled with a measured amount of dog kibble and wet food, water on the side. The two dogs eye the bowls twitchily. He raises his hand, all fingers laid flat for the dogs to see. “Wait” the dogs sit sternly in front of their master using all their restraint to not dig in until given permission. “Go ahead” he chuckles and the dogs immediately dig in, he pats over their heads with an affectionate smile and moves back to the granite counter, filling the final metal bowl with a healthy mix of seasoned vegetables, rice and finally chopped bites of beef, all in a Korean sauce. He plates the same onto his dish and takes it to the table, sliding onto the wooden chair and groaning at the relief it takes off his weary joints.

Asa places the final bowl on the floor next to his chair and click his fingers again, pointing to the bowl. “Come” without question you crawl over to the bowl, eyes switching between the delicious food in front of you and your master, waiting for permission. Wearing a smug and smitten look back at you he finally clicks again. “Go ahead, pet” he chuckles lowly as you start to eat from the bowl, used to using only your mouth as your utensil at this point. He leans forward and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear that was falling into the sauce. “Messy pup”

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola! Thank you for the tag today, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! Instead of six sentences, today I bring you "six somethings" - six places I'm excited to eat while I'm in London (March 24-April 7)!

If anyone has any recommendations for favourite places to eat in London, PLEASE let me know! 🍽️😋

I'll tag up here because this post is a long boi. Hello hello hello to a buncha folks! @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @dohrnaira @ebbpettier @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @ionlydrinkhotwater @imagineacoolusername @larkral @raenestee @onepintobean @theimpossibledemon @whogaveyoupermission @tectonicduck

6.) Pret (Heathrow)

I know Shepard loses his tiny mind over the sandwiches from Pret, but. I dream of their Chocolate Moose. I have an absurd amount of food allergies, so finding a Chen-friendly, ready made chocolate mousse is a dream come true. So excited to cram it into my face after I clear Customs.

From My Good Egg, Good morning, good night, good morning:

“All right.” Simon goes back to fiddling with Bunce’s phone, and then he says to Bunce, hopeful, “Any chance you brought the rest of my baguette from Pret?”

Bunce says, slowly and carefully, “Simon. I do not know the whereabouts of your airport sandwich. I was rather busy figuring out where you had disappeared to.” 

5.) Borough Market

I have very fond memories of Borough Market from the first/last time I visited London back in 2018. I remember sticking my head in a jar full of dried truffles and just inhaling all that amazing, savoury, umami truffly goodness. (Like, you know, the way that normal humans do.)

From What's Left by @cutestkilla:

I’ve been hanging around Borough Market quite a bit, and I’ve had everything from cheese and croissants to chorizo and balsamic vinegar (in small sample portions only). I think, though, that my favourite thing so far was a fresh buttered wild garlic scone that I bought with some of my stolen money after trying a sample.

4.) MotherMash (Covent Garden)

I also had a good time with a pal at MotherMash years ago - I think instead of pie, I had bangers and mash with gravy, and a tiny, perfect apple pie. My spouse has never been here, but he does frequently say, "I would like to eat a whole pie," and now he will be able to eat TWO pies - one for his main, and one for dessert.

From A cake with your name on it:

Baz was still fuming about the tasting when we met up at his flat for dinner. We had takeaway from MotherMash, and Baz kept stabbing his steak and Stoutheart pie instead of eating it. 

“I’ve never met such an idiot,” he said. “A bumbler. A fool. An absolute nightmare.” 

“Okay,” I said. “We still have that list from my mother with three other bakeries.” 

Baz whipped his head around to stare at me. 

“No,” he said, loudly. Too loudly. He was oddly flushed. “I don’t care if I have to murder and then resurrect him - Simon Snow is making our wedding cake.” 

3.) Brick Lane Beigel Bake (Shoreditch)

I asked my spouse, EarlobeGreyTea, what he wanted to do or eat or see while we're in London and all he would say, over and over again, was "Bagel." He is a remarkably easygoing travel companion.

From an earlier draft of My Good Egg, which ended up getting cut/changed:

They get to Brick Lane before Baz can embarrass himself any further, and he waits outside of a bagel shop until Simon comes out with a salt beef bagel crammed into his mouth, and a very full paper bag. “This one’s for you,” he says, holding out a salmon and cream cheese bagel to Baz. 

Baz takes it, but doesn’t bite into it right away. “Thank you,” he says, slowly, thinking that maybe offering food is one of Simon’s love languages as well, along with killing things. The rats seem to be a lucky intersection. 

2.) E Pellici's (Bethnal Green)

I think my favourite full English breakfast that I ever had was at Pellici's, which is tiny and and owned by an Italian family. The owner spent most of the time I was there embarrassing one of his teenage employees and a girl who was interviewing him for a school project. The owner high fived me when I bought a t-shirt and he went slack-jawed at my powerful, resounding high five. It was great.

From an unpublished bit of My Good Egg:

In the car, Baz passes both slices of fruitcake to Simon, and Simon practically dances in his seat. 

“Are you sure?” Simon asks, “like, really, really sure? Cause I’m telling you, this is really fucking amazing fruitcake, and you can’t buy it most of the time unless you order it special - they don’t even have it on the menu anymore.” “They’re yours, Simon,” Baz says. Honestly, Simon Snow is impossible. He was ready to kill a man for Baz, or not kill a man for him, and now he’s beaming at Baz because of some fruitcake. He needs to pin Simon to a mattress and keep him there — with handcuffs, with a collar, with a ring.

1.) Dishoom (King's Cross)

Dishoom is like... truly magical. That house black daal is no joke. I lack words to describe how amazing the food is - just check out their site (but honestly, it will make you hungry). Everything I've ever had there was fucking delicious and the place and the atmosphere is so gorgeous, just lush and colourful and immersive.

I shared another snippet before about Dishoom from My Good Egg, but here's Simon on the phone with Agatha right after he's ordered takeaway:

“Hey Ags. How’re you – no, I’m not bleeding or throwing up or on fire. I – yeah, I know you said not to call you when you’re at work unless I was bleeding or throwing up or on fire, but this is an – look, it’s not for me this time, all right? Or Penny. It’s for a friend – okay, rude, I have friends other than you and Penny!” Pause. “Yes, Agatha, we’re friends, even if you – yeah, I know you said you would never do another house visit, but you said that the last time, too!” 

Baz leans back so he can catch Bunce’s eyes, and mouths, What the fuck?  

Bunce just rolls her eyes and shrugs, like, He’s Simon, what can you do about it?  

“Well,” Simon says, triumphant, “we already ordered the daal for you, so there!” Pause. “Yeah, love you too. Bye.”  

RIPs & Honourable Mentions

Cinnamon Soho (also mentioned in "A cake with your name on it") - They closed down during the pandemic. But they had a delicious Indian afternoon tea 🥲

Cereal Killer Cafe - This place was rec'd to me by one of my British co-workers (his seven kids were mad for it), but sadly, they closed their storefront during the pandemic and went online. (In my headcanon, this was where Winifred from My Good Egg wanted to go for her(?) first(?) birthday)

Fortnum & Mason - I WILL be going here to buy tea and biscuits (and to replace one of my favourite tote bags, LOL), but not for high tea or afternoon tea. (We have a few other places lined up for that, including The Swan at the Globe and Tea House Theatre). Sorry, Daphne!

Nando's - I suggested to my spouse that we should get cheeky Nando's and have top bants and he gave me a dead-eyed look as if his soul left his body

Again, if you have any recommendations of favourite places to eat in London, please let me know!

I mean, I suppose I'll be doing other things besides eating, like hanging out with my beautiful friends, going to stationery shops, visiting the flower market, seeing shows and things... but really, food is the main draw. 😂😂😂

Happy Sunday!

[rk-ocs]

AU worlds

1.In any other universe it is likely that a different sperm won the race, and that means different characteristics and environment. For your character this means a different face, hight,  colouring, weight, body type , and quite possibly name and gender. There's a whole world of possibilities out there, but for story purposes we will stick with one set of names for each gender of the character, such as Desmond miles becoming Mackenzie miles when female.

The behaviour of this character and that other characters in the verse are influenced to the changes made within the environment (what sort of world is this AU / crossover) the changes and influences this has on other characters personality and their social web, and how your newcomer impacts this (are they high profile? Or low?)

2. In alternate worlds, pop culture will have differences, as will historical events. A small instance could be a change in music history and its effects on modern music due to the plane-crash the song American pie was written about, had never happened.

Or big things, like making positive environmental difference rather then selling it for your private island.

You might know the story.

This will come out very differently in other worlds.  Take the avengers, which shows that Hydra Natzis have successfully infiltrated places like shield and are alive and well.  What kind of history have they written. How has this infiltration of racists impacted society.

Then there is Stark teck. Ran by Iron man. A hero. You can bet that's an incentive to buy. And plenty of propo.

"I'm commander Shepard , and this is my favourite store in the Citidale. "

Also consider the environmental, property, and technological damage done by superhero fighting.

Then there's the cultural influence of heroism.

The avengers are success stories. For every success story, there are at least 3 (I'm being generous ) failure stories)

How about a teenager to tries to be like their hero Spider-Man , and be a masked vigilante only to get killed. Or, who goes after the wrong person, and alerts the real villain to what's going on, so villain gets away scot free thanks to the warning. Or whose stereotyping methods leads to an innocent death and sparks conflict.

----

Apparently I need an AU note for Red and Dez

Non romantic soul mates of forced circumstances. Because to me most of the time, these two have friendship, guardianship, or even broship, but no romantic-ship type.

- where Red died in the robbery and spends the next nine years and beyond haunting Desmond.

-where red died in the Robbery, spends time talking to clay, and they meet up with dead Desmond after the end (cannon probably)

-where MT gets pulled into the past with her.

-where Desmond dies via mugger on his run from home at age sixteen, and Haunts Lill red. He can 1. Be a guardian to a Red growing up in modern times, and do his best to keep her from being killed. 2. Be a guardian to Lill Red growing up in various times, as an almost immortal timetravler.

3. Where Desmond dies at the apple and is sent back in time Dead, haunting a child. Who he tries to convince to meet up and rescue his alive self.

-where an unrelated Desmond gets swept up in Reds TT, and as they are the only consistent presences in their crazy life, they fall in...love, or at least habit. Their lives revolve around each other, to the point of being thrown into chaos if missing the other. (In this box)

-where a Young Lill red is the subject of the prophecy, after Desmond Miles  (presumed dead) disappears off the map December 22. ( also known as that universe where Desmond is the literal timetravler and Red is the mental one who hijacks bodies.)

-where Desmond's hitchhiking takes him to Quebec instead. He winds up in Boucherville, and saves a hostage during a robbery. MT asks him out to dinner.

No boundaries: where Red and Des live each others lives without worrying about sense of self, to the point that the bleeding effect happens on a daily basis because the other is still alive and experiencing emotions- like codependent psychics. Desmond knows what kind of cloths, food, pads, ect she likes, and keeps stocked on things they both like because he's just as likely to wear it as she is. They share a bed non romantically, and work with each other like clockwork.

she's already pretty dependant on him in my Headcannon, he's her scout, confidant, therapist, spy, and best friend who won't leave her (until he's revived, and where the false gods want him. On his part, she's one of his only conversation options, and the only consistent one, they talk a lot. She knows a lot about him, more then anyone else. He's used to following her orders, and suggestions, "like singing to the music -who else can hear you and complain but me- or spotting for her on a sniper mission". It's going to build some hard to drop habits when he's revived, is all Im saying.

-in the aus where one of them is a ghost, the ghost is a paranoid overprotective sibling in everything- researching  potential dates (including cyberstalking)- instructing you in cooking- scouting- hacking- and therapy.

-in the AU where Des and red are an Item, the world is connected to the one viewed in tyranny of king Washington. As a descendant of Conner, Des has Wolf ears and eyes, and stronger smell, so he always wears a hood and scarf to hide his features . To compliment this, red has drunk red willow-bark tea, and can change into a raven.

She jumps from cliffs to kick start her flying, like a bird taking off.  Or buildings or trees.

Ravens (in life) lead wolves to prey, and alert them to danger, and are rewarded by a share of the spoils. It is a symbiotic relationship.

Consequently, she has eagle vision in this universe, where Des has the stronger other senses, at cost of eyes.  After Washington was defeated there was a lot of chaos and battle. Still is. The linage  of the resistance members are known for their animal traits.

Desmond's tattoo is on right hand.

I believe he lost his left to the "save the world cause" but its hard to be sure. But his watch was on there so, probably yah. So if red were there she lost her right.

"I've never thought myself particularly suicidial, but the world has enough people fighting over it. I don't know if I could stand to lead a war against a false god too." She says, placing her hand on the apple, and calling on her piece, her raven form, her patron, and any abilities she might have to contain Juno and save the world.

It doesn't work fully for anyone. Juno is out, but Reds interference drew on her powers to save the world, as well as their blood. As such it severely weakens her. Parts of the earth still get reckt up as a result of confusion over last minuet intentions. Juno is free but severely weakened. Red failed to prevent Juno from escaping, but she and Desmond ended up almost Dead on mars, and she gains a permeant traveling companion. Desmond, for his part, almost dies and they both need a lot of recovery. 

Both are war leaders

One kid later (left with Aeiden)

----where Red decides "I am going to make a better world for the people I love", and deliberately makes massive changes to the timeline, creating an alternate universe. Starting with creating her own cause, and recruiting both Haythem and Zilo to it, ensuring along the way, Conner grows up with both parents.

fighting to make America free to her high standards.

No Assassins, no Templars, just the Wild Roses.  "The wild, crimson Lady Rose of America,

"I've got a better Idea." Faints

"Zilo where did she come from?"

(Hmm, this needs work)

----in where Desmond decides "forget the timeline, I need to be a better brother" and 1. Finds a POE and sends his sixteen year old self back in time, 2. Goes to that store the day of the robbery, stops it from killing her, or 3. One of them gets 'killed' anyways and the other is back in time with them. 

---in where the same as above happens, but inverse.  Red takes advantage of being back in time to rescue younger Desmond from Abstergo,  in memory of the brother he once was.

-in where Des and Red from the dependant bleeding effect memory verse, change Conners childhood together with his consent, to one similar to American wild roses.

The wild, crimson Lady Rose of America, and her loyal guard Sir Briar.

-----

Wolf Desmond traits.  He walks on his toes, like a wolf would. His heel rarely touches the ground. He has long messy hair, and wears a hood all the time , both to cover his ears. He often wears sunglasses to protect his eyes. Fox girl is similar but wears a hat.  Back to des. He often brushes Reds hair, going so far as to wash it sometimes ( if needed), and expects her to do the same.  He asks for a spar, dropping into a crouch, otherwise he will just sit. Then they engage in wrestling. He also occasionally rubs his back , or uses his hands on  her, usually beacuse she smells strange to him.  They communicate a lot through faces and body language, or he talks she reads

Desmond does growl and show his teeth when mad, squints when suspicious,  hunches when afraid-rarely wimpers. Sharp teeth, and a careful smile.

Alt red is a raven, because that's what she does. She plans tactics , warns early, draws maps, and can hit hard in a pinch, but prefers to have others do it, and is much better at teamwork.  She can lead a pack,  or in this case armies. Its leadership. That Des is her optimal hunting partner is just good luck, or the work of a false god.

Were cannon Red to drink the red Tea, she would become a fox. See, foxes work alone, strike alone, and have highly tuned senses, including a sort of sniper sense. She can work in small teams, but is a lot more introverted, yet people starved.  Des would be a Kite.

With plenty of tablet citations.

-body swap

-in where Desmond ends up in the past alive, and stops the robbery.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: Whoa! Penny it smells amazing in here!

Penny: *Half asleep on the couch* Hmm? Oh. Oh! Welcome home Jaune! I made dinner for us - Um, It is later than I thought it would be, it is likely cold. I am sorry.

Jaune: Don't be! You cooked! I'm sorry I was late, the mission report registry was packed and the Bullhead got delayed by an hour. what'd you make?

Penny: I asked your moth- Blanche. I had asked Blanche what your favorite meals were, and did my best to prepare them for you! I had assistance from Yang and Ren.

Jaune: All my favorite meals?

Penny: Indeed! It was mildly stressful, but overall quite enjoyable! There is Shepard's Pie with extra garlicky Mashed potatoes - Lamb was somewhat difficult to get on such short notice, but I was able to buy some in time. There is also Ceasar Salad, a medley of roast vegetables, and a side of Microwavable Mac-n-Cheese.

Jaune: Wow ... you made all of that?

Penny: With assistance! There is also a Argus-Apple Pie that we may reheat in the oven, along with Vanilla Ice Cream to top it with.

Jaune: I- Penny that's amazing!

Penny: You have been amazing yourself, Jaune.

Jaune: *Cupping her cheeks* Penny, you have gone above and Beyond anything I would've asked you to do- Really Penny. Thank you. I- I'm really at a loss for words to describe how much this means to me, I could seriously start crying.

Penny: *Gently pulling his hands down* I was happy to do it Jaune. *Kiss* Should we have dinner now?

Jaune: *Kissing her neck* I don't know~ There might be something I'm more hungry for Right now~

Penny: I can hear your stomach grumbling Jaune.

Jaune: Okay, Okay. Let's have Dinner, Penny.

The Perfect Recipe

Penny: *Via... internal scroll?* Hello, Mother in law.

Mama Arc: Blanche works too, Penny.

Penny: But you are my mother in law, are you not?

Mama Arc: Yes, but... nevermind. I'm about to head out, so I'm afraid I won't have too long to chat.

Penny: That is unfortunate, but I did not call simply to have a nice conversation with you. Though I do enjoy our conversations!

Mama Arc: Oh, then what do you need?

Penny: I want to surprise Jaune since he's been working so hard lately, and I've decided that cooking him one of his favorite home cooked meals would be the best way to make him happy.

Mama Arc: That's nice of you. What are you planning on making?

Penny: At them moment, I don't know. I know he prefers to get chicken nuggets in the commissary, but I've never had the opportunity to see share a more formal meal with him. Which is why I called you.

Mama Arc: I'm guessing you want me to send over his favorite recipe of mine then?

Penny: That is correct!

Mama Arc: Then I'll do that. Do you want just the main course or the whole meal?

Penny: Everything please.

------

What do you think Penny is gonna end up cooking?

[ljandersen]

for the fanfic asks: 1, 4 with the title "lemon juice", 6, 7, and 12!

Oooh! Thank you for the ask! These questions are so much fun. This is from the Fanfic Writers Ask Game.

1. has a comment someone left on a fic of yours ever made you laugh out loud?

No, but I've been highly amused! I actually don't laugh out loud that much. My sister's the same way. A friend will watch a comedy with us, and at the end, be like, "You guys didn't like that?" We'll both cock our heads and be like, "What? We thought it was the most hilarious thing ever." "You didn't laugh."  I don’t know why. 

4. what would this fic be about, based on the title? (asker provides fake fic title) (x)

I had to take someone to pick up their car getting repaired, so I had a chance to think about "Lemon Juice," my fShenko one-shot that will never be. Imagine: Mass Effect 1, pre-relationship. ��

Lemon Juice

Adams says the SR-1's engine is sounding funny. They need to head back to Earth to have it in inspected. Since that's where the Normandy takes off for the shake down cruise, I'm envisioning that's where it was built. Since it's a prototype warship, it needs special handling. It will take a few days to investigate and fix.

Kaidan is excited. It aligns with his birthday. He hasn't been home for his birthday in years. It's the middle of summer in Vancouver. Perfect weather. He can go to the beach. His mom is making him a lemon meringue pie, his favorite. His dad keeps messaging him how eager he is to see Kaidan.

But then the SR-1 breaks down before it reaches Earth. They have to swing into the nearest Alliance outpost. It's this icy volcanic world with lightening and constant sleet. The engineers are going to have to come from Earth to this little dumpy outpost to fix the engine here. 

Shepard knows how excitedly Kaidan was looking forward to stopping on Earth. Ash and the other crew mates notice him looking a bit droopy. They ask if he’s okay, of course, and he says he's fine. It's no big deal.

So Shepard drags him out for a drink, despite his protests. He wants to help with the engineer repairs. "No, no. It's your birthday. I buy every officer a beer on his birthday."

Instead of swerving into the seedy little outpost bar, Shepard pulls him into the mako. After a ride, where he fears his tombstone will have one date with two different years, they arrive at the edge of a lava field.

Surprise! Tali, Garrus, Wrex, Ash, Joker, Chackwas, and a bunch of other crew are there. They have parkas on. Garrus set up a lightening rod a safe distance away. The sleet is coming down, soft like snow, no real bother. The area is lit up by the lava field.

It's no sunny Vancouver beach. They're not Alenko's, but they’re a second family. Just as Shepard said, they have drinks. Shepard gives him a beer and squeezes a lemon into it. She can't cook him a lemon meringue pie for more reasons than just not having the ingredients. That's the best she can do.

Kaidan gets to talk with his parents later that night on comm.  They’re disappointed but happy to hear about his time with the crew.  They say how aglow he looks talking about Shepard and the party.  It must have been a good time.

He goes to bed that night, and he's sure it's the best birthday's he's ever had. When life gives you a lemon, there's always lemonade.

Tada! "Lemon Juice." There you are!

6. what is your favourite sense to incorporate in your writing and why?

Smell. Sight, hearing, and touch are too common. Taste is trickier and can feel like a stretch. Smell is a great extra detail to add grounding.

7. what is you favourite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic) (x)

I wouldn't say this is my favorite. I don't really pride myself on my prose to feel particularly proud of anything on the sentence level. I did write this paragraph recently into a posted chapter of "Sideways," and I felt like it chaptered Kadian's mom in a concise way I liked.

Ella was in the picture, Kaidan’s mom. Laugh lines and tight hugs. She smelled like green apples, folded their laundry when they weren’t looking, and gave out the secret family recipe like campaign flyers. She remembered every important date. Once, she showed up unexpectedly at their house. Kaidan was away on assignment, but she seemed to already know that. She insisted on cooking dinner. She gave Shepard side-hugs, chatted merrily, and stayed the night. It was only later Shepard realized the date. Mindoir. She was the only person, outside Kaidan and Avyn, who always told Shepard she loved her.

12. what headcanon will you keep implementing in your fics, even if canon ends up contradicting it?

I have a lot of headcanon around biotics that isn't canon. Maybe it even contradicts canon, but it works for my storytelling. Namely, I wanted to limit biotics (every superpower needs a limit for storytelling). I came up with biotic fatigue.  They can stretch themselves too far.  There are signs it’s becoming too much.  I think those are all important when you have a character with super powers and want action to have real stakes and tension.

I also headcanon being able to combine biotics for certain skills, like barriers.  I like the idea personal compatibility influences inherent biotic compatibility. In "Sideways" I've come up with several new biotic powers that definitely aren't canon. 

I'd say all in all, I've made my own version of biotics in a lot of ways.  It’s what lets me explore character relationships and keep high stakes in storytelling.

Thank you for the ask!!!

[adrienscroissantx]

Completely off topic, what is your favorite pie filling. Personally I love me a good apple pie but it is hard to beat a well made Shepard's pie in my opinion

Mmmmm apple pie is very good but I've never had a proper one I'm just Projecting pastry onto memories of apple crumble

My usual pie filling is prime steak. I've been wanting to try proper dessert pies for ages tho but they're just not that common here :(

I Once had a custard pie and it felt like eating a soggy flip flop overall 6/10 experience

[farahblack]

pies

i have opinions on things there probably shouldn’t be opinions about. here are my opinions on the squad’s favorite kinds of pie. bon appetit.

disclaimer: not all of these reflect my personal views on pies; all pies are valid.

dirk:

dirk’s favorite pie is cherry

he likes the kind with full berries in it

if the crust isn’t plaid, what’s the point? people who cover the full glory of the pie and don’t leave it air holes are weak and cowards. they’re weak cowards.

people who don’t butter the crust and top before they bake are vile

it has to have a little bit of crunch in the crust, but not burnt! if it’s burnt, you’ve failed your pie

bonus points if your pie is all nice and neat together

pies that squash all over the place when you cut in? terrible

the ideal pie should be this nice dark red color in the filling—the cherries should not be firm, but they shouldn’t be falling all over the place either

a good cherry pie must be served on a small plate. it cannot be on a full sized kitchen plate. if you present your pie on a plate meant for a full meal, you’re a coward, and you’ve failed. use a smaller plate. but not a saucer. if you serve your pie on a saucer, that’s disgraceful

dirk absolutely despises pumpkin pie

pumpkins should not be in pies, he says, standing in the middle of the kitchen and waving around a spatula. pumpkins belong in bread, as pumpkins do! everybody knows this!

he doesn’t like whipped cream on pies

ice cream on hot pie can be okay, but it all depends on the type of ice cream, and the type of pie

hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream is passable. anything else is horrid

todd:

todd’s favorite pie is apple

it’s the most basic kind of pie, and he likes it

he doesn’t mind closed crusts, but the ones where little slits are cut into the center for ventilation? superior

also when there’s cinnamon in the pie filling... good. that’s how it’s meant to be. five stars.

todd will eat most pies

but he hates rhubarb pie. there’s no reason. he just can’t stand it

it’s pink. why is it pink? pies should be red, or, or blue, or maybe even orange! not pink! why is it pink? he’s not eating that

and sweet potato pie. that’s just... why would you do that?

he has firm opinions on what qualifies as pie. shepard’s pie? that’s not pie. it’s an impostor. a fake. it’s just meat and potatos with pie in the name. not actually pie at all. he’s probably fought people over this

todd likes when the crusts are a little burnt. not too burnt, but just enough that the edges go all black and crispy

what can he say? he loves the crunch

if you don’t eat pumpkin pie with whipped cream, who even are you?

he doesn’t actually like pumpkin pie that much. but he likes whipped cream, so it evens out.

ice cream on pie is... pointless. there’s already a lot of sugar, why add more? he’s content with his ice-cream-less pie

farah:

farah’s all time favorite pie is key lime, but she’s also fond of lemon meringue and cream pie.

she likes custards

the texture is nice, how it’s soft but sometimes firm if you cut into it right, and how it’s all smooth and moist? she likes it

farah does not condone blueberry pie. mainly because she hates blueberries. i am not projecting.

her favorite pies don’t exactly have top crusts, but the bottom and sides have to be at a certain degree of crumble

they can’t be too dry, but too much butter in crusts is a sin

it has to be just right, with the crust packed tightly but not tightly enough it’s impossible to slice through

farah doesn’t even eat pie that much

but when she does, she’s not picky

not as picky as dirk, anyhow

ice cream on pie is good and all, but for some reason, farah is one of those people who just never has ice cream in her fridge

amanda:

amanda’s a pecan pie lover through and through

if you do not like pecan, she can and will fight you

she has no crust preference, no filling preference, nothing

just pecan pie

it’s literally the only kind of pie she eats

obviously when she’s offered other kinds, she doesn’t decline (who would), but when she’s got a choice? pecans

whipped cream on pecan pie, is amazing. she has stolen so many whipped cream cans in her life

when it does the swirly thing? with like, the little fluffier bits of the cream? yes

honestly amanda only hates apple pie because todd likes it, and if you’ve ever had a sibling you know that’s how it is

actually on second thought apple might be her second favorite just because she eats it all so todd doesn’t get any. people with siblings you know this is factually correct

the way amanda eats her pecan pie is... questionable

she picks off all the pecans on top, then eats the back crust, and only then does she eat the... actual pie. everybody who knows her shakes in fear

tina:

tina’s more of a cake person, actually

there’s a fine line between cake and pie, and tina treads it expertly

mud pies are good! not as good as cake though

sometimes tina takes cake icing and puts it on pies. she’s unstoppable

it’s pretty good actually, amanda confirms. she’s not reliable

tina commits pie crimes regularly, such as:

maple syrup

melting mashmallows into her pie

straight up dumping powdered sugar on her slice(s)

cutting pie with scissors

kitchen scissors, she’s not a barbarian

sprinkles

candles? birthday candles? she made a pie for somebody’s birthday once and then she just... didn’t stop

cupcake sized pies

lobbing pies at people and then running. it’s not a crime if she’s an officer, right? right

in short: fear tina

[transswordbian]

I've decided to be more vocal on my blog now.

Should i make apple pie? It's nearly 8am and I've been awake since 4am. Also i just made and ate some Shepard's pie. It's a pie day i think

[eequalsmcsqd]

Exante 800 (Total Solution) - Day 1

Keeping a little diary of my weight loss journey to keep me motivated!

I'm embarking on 33 days of the Exante 800 diet. It's one of those Very Low Calorie things. This is a journal of my progress.

Suffice to say, I'm not happy with my weight. My BMI is too high, and it's in an unhealthy range. I'm getting married in the next 5 months, and I want to look great. But I also want to feel great. My ankles are feeling the strain of my weight and I've suffered two sprains from them caving in.

I started Exante after a lot of reading into the product, minerals and vitamins, supplementing, etc. I settled on the 800 plan as I would like to get a landslide start to my weight loss, and then move into sustainable loss territory and a lifestyle change. All things going well, I have a bridal boot camp to sign up for in January to start getting fit and healthy once my exante 800 is over, and I hopefully move on to either the 1200 plan or something similar led by me and my own goals.

Let's get started!

Breakfast - Apple and Cinnamon Porridge

A pretty solid meal. I made it with hot water instead of using a microwave, and it turned out pretty good. It was delicious, and somehow there were tiny apple pieces in it once I mixed all the powder and water. Magic.

Lunch - Mushroom Soup

This is a pretty good meal. It's similar to any cup o soup or powdered quick prep soup. I really enjoy soups and this one was thick and creamy. I will definitely be adding some salt next time though.

Dinner - Shepard's Pie

This was so good. It had the taste and consistency of sausage stuffing. I sprinkled in a little garlic and salt to bump it to the next level but wow. I would eat this off diet.

Snack - Stollen Bar

This is one of the tastiest snacks I've ever had. I want these all the time. Its gooey and has little fruit pieces in it. Divine.

Coffee - Beanie's Cookie Dough and Beanie's Coconut

I work in an office so water cooler/coffee pot banter is a must. Since the lattes are turning out to be so high calorie, I'm using Beanie's coffee sachets to make myself a warm drink, stave off cravings and not become a social leper in my drive to look good in my wedding dress!

Total water consumption: 2l 320ml

Overall: didn't really feel hungry today, somewhat suspicious of that. Looking forward to tomorrow's meals!

[ripley95]

OC Interview

I was tagged by @kenshi-vakarian7 and @rpgwarrior4824 for the OC interview meme. Thank you so much!

I’ve been putting off a ton of other OC memes that mostly @rpgwarrior4824 tagged me in and maybe some others? It’s been so long I can’t even remember, so sorry if I’ve missed anyone! Rather than flooding everyone’s dash with other OC memes, I’m going to do the interview, and add all of the other memes below the cut.

I’ll be doing all of them for Jane Shepard from one of the stories I’m currently writing.

Also, if anyone wants to do a huge OC master post like this with any or all of the memes involved, feel free to consider yourself tagged.

1. What’s your name?  

Jane Shepard

2. Do you know why you are named that?

My parents were looking for something traditional. Something about remembering where we came from, having connections to Earth. I’m not really quite sure about their rationale behind that.

3. Are you single or taken?

Single? I’m not really sure how this is pertinent information.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

My tactical cloak has gotten me out of a few sticky situations. I guess that counts, right? Not everyone knows how to use those effectively.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

I’m afraid that goes against my job description.

6. What’s your eye color?

Green.

7. How about your hair color?

Brown.

8. Have any family members?

My mom, Hannah Shepard. She’s a Rear Admiral now, you know. She’s pretty distinguished in her own right.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

I have a hamster.  His name is Pongo. I have some fish too... actually, I should probably double check that one.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Intrusive and unnecessary interviews.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I do like my model ships. There’s something about the process of putting them together that’s almost meditative.

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

Hasn’t everyone?

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I’m sorry, you do know who I am right? I will say, that I don’t take that for granted. I always try my best to avoid death, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

14. What kind of animal are you?

A human? Honestly, I don’t even understand the point of most of these.

15. Name your worst habits?

Apparently, indulging reporters, for what? Some kind of romance magazine I’m guessing?

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Of course. My mom’s been a great example for me. She raised me by herself for most of her life, and she’s always tried to do her best by me. She’s a great role model. Then there’s Admiral Anderson, but, maybe let’s not talk about him.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I really don’t see how this is any of your business.

18. Do you go to school?

Not anymore. I was raised going to the Alliance Academy, almost conditioned for military life. Then there was N7 training, but nothing as formal as that since.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

I don’t know. Now that the war is over, maybe? I never managed to think that far ahead.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

You could say that. I have a VI dedicated to sorting my mail.

21. What are you most afraid of?

Failure. Letting down my team.

22. What do you usually wear?

Usually whatever the Alliance has requisitioned for me.

23. What one food tempts you?

Oooh, anything freshly cooked an warm, and you’ll have me wrapped around your little finger. Let’s just say I’ve become way more accustomed to MRE’s than I care for.

24. Am I annoying you?

Not exactly, though I’m not sure why some of these are so personal.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Great.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Middle.

27. How many friends do you have?

Living a life in space hasn’t allowed for much stability on that front, but my crew has become a second family. It’s not about how many, but about the bonds that aren’t breakable, and I’ve found that in my crew.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Like I said, anything fresh or home cooked, and you have my attention.

29. Favorite drink?

Water’s never failed me. I’m sorry, were you looking for something more interesting? I’ll say that I am probably too attached to my coffee supply too.

30. What’s your favorite place?

Places have never really been a stability for me either. I guess the Normandy’s become pretty special. 

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Well... there was someone. I’m not really sure anymore.

32. That was a stupid question…

Yeah...

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

I can’t say that I’ve had much of a chance for either, but I remember that sticky gross feeling after swimming in an ocean, so I’ll have to say lake.

34. What’s your type?

I’m sorry?

35. Any fetishes?

Oh, we’re really not going there.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

Are you kidding me? You’re going to ask this after that last question? What exactly is this interview for? Outdoors, I guess. I wouldn’t say no to a nice cabin though.

Fairy Tale Aesthetics: Brothers Grimm Version

SNOW WHITE.

jade trinket boxes.  taste of iron. fingertips on a mirror.  yellow and green with envy. long handled hunting knives.  sewing by the window.  combs laced with pearls and poison.  an apple white one side and red the other. white doves.  frosted glass.

THE MAIDEN WITHOUT HANDS.

a blunt axe.  a ring of chalk.  tear-stained cheeks.  sweet pears. hands tied behind back.  shallow rivers.  aching feet, walking for days.  flowing gown.  liquid silver.  wax seals.  blinding lights.

THE THREE LITTLE GNOMES IN THE FOREST.

lukewarm bath water. sapphire butterflies.  tiny milk snakes.  baskets of strawberries.  fat toads.  sparkling snow.  fur cloaks.  raw gemstones.  kettles made of copper.  red wine.  a tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere.

BLUE BEARD.

a tiny key made of gold.  pools of blood.  stains that won’t rub away.  galloping hooves. treasures from far away lands.  dragging by the hair.  dark and damp cellars.  marble walls.  shivering with fear.  screaming at the top of your lungs.

THE SIX SWANS.

sitting side-saddle.  daughter of a witch.  nettles.  white feathers.  refusing to smile. needles and threads.  a castle in the forest.  sound of beating wings.  birthmarks.  climbing trees.  balls of yarn.  silver crowns.

LITTLE RED CAP.

wildflowers.  rich-tasting cake.  wicker baskets.  the path rarely trod.  sharp teeth. curtains drawn.  a dying fireplace.  grey pelts.  red velvet.  handmade quilts.  sunlight peeking through branches.  opening corks with a satisfying pop. looking someone directly in the eye.

OC Body Language Meme

DEFENSIVENESS

arms crossed / crossing legs / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / karate chops / stiffening of shoulders / tense posture / curling of lip / baring of teeth / brow furrowing / shoulders hunched / sudden, sharp movements / growling

REFLECTIVE

hand-to-face gestures / head tilted / stroking chin / peering over glasses / taking glasses off — cleaning / putting earpiece of glasses in mouth / pipe smoker gestures / putting hand to bridge of nose / pursed lips / knitted brows / scrunched nose / staring to the side / fidgeting

SUSPICION

arms crossed / sideways glance / touching or rubbing nose / rubbing eyes / hands resting on weapon / brows raising / lips pressing into a thin line / strict, unwavering eye contact / wrinkling of nose / narrowed eyes / smooth, quick movements / sniffing the air loudly

INSECURITY & ANXIETY

chewing pen or pencil / rubbing thumb over opposite thumb / biting fingernails / biting lips / hands in pockets / elbow bent / closed gestures / clearing throat / “whew” sound / picking or pinching flesh / fidgeting in chair / hand covering mouth whilst speaking / poor eye contact / tugging at pants whilst seated / jingling money in pockets / tugging at ear / perspiring hands / playing with hair / swaying / playing with pointer/marker/cane / smacking lips / sighing / rocking on balls of feet / flexing or cracking fingers sporadically / hugging themselves / head whipping around frantically / hanging down avoiding eye contact / low growling / shoulders hunched over / sitting with knees pulled up to the chest

ANGER & FRUSTRATION

short breaths / “tsk” sounds / tightly-clenched hands / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / running hand through hair / rubbing back of neck / snarling / revealing teeth / grimacing / sharp-eye glowers / notable tension in brow / shoulders back, head up – defensive posturing / clenching of jaw/ grinding teeth / nostrils flaring / heavy exhales / hitting walls and random objects / loud growling / pacing / yelling randomly

OC sense aesthetic

SIGHT. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york city. window shopping. watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colours.

HEARING

crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and a / c units. a phone call to mum / dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise cancelling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH

being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favourite pet’s fur or feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggles. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.

TASTE

coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. mint. fresh vegetables. that processed taste of citrus candy. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries.

Bold Relationship Tag

height difference | mutual pining | first kiss | first love | wedding | in-jokes | lgbt+ | family disapproves | friend disapproves | would die for each other | fake relationship | arranged wedding | cuddlers| pda friendly | and they were room mates | holding hands | secret relationship | opposing world views | opposing personalities | opposing goals | getting a pet | have kids | want kids | grow old together | relationship failures | rests head on shoulder | share a bed | token dummies | relationship doubts | they have a song | first date | share a jacket | sharing a blanket | mutual interests | study buddies | bathing together | crash into hello | accidental nudity | laundry | same hobbies | cooking for each other | big fancy gala | sibling rivalry | hair stroking | dancing | laying in the grass | watching stars together | watching the other sleep | shared values | friends to lovers  | enemies to lovers | lovers to enemies | childhood friends | slow burn | love triangle | toxic relationship | sitting on each other’s laps |  can’t be together | hugs | forehead touches | neck kisses | car/motorbike rides | compliments | nicknames | falling asleep together | late night talks | gifts |

If anyone actually made it this far, I’d be shocked. But seriously, if you want to do any kind of variance of an OC master post for your OCs, feel free to do it and tag me.

[phoebe-does]

do you cook often? for yourself? for others? what are you signature dishes??

yeah! I absolutely do! I’ve been almost completely in control of what i eat because i’ve cooked for myself since I was 12! I have a few signature dishes (all of them vegetarian)1. mixed bean burrito bowl2. dahl3. crustless shepard’s pie4. fattoush salad5. halloumi & watermelon salad with a lemon juice dressing (only in summer tho)6. pumpkin, sweet potato and coconut milk soup7. Pad thai8. healthy apple crumble (made with rolled oats to top it)9. I also make a ‘snack pack’ which is mixed nuts, seeds and dark chock chips!10. i make a KILLER banana bread tooI love cooking! I cook for friends, family, mainly myself tho. I love having people over to cook with! It’s in my genes!

[ned-f1anders]

i wanna rant about the history of british food rn, i hate people saying my food is bland, most people nowerdays dont go around hating on other cultures food, but it happens to us? theyres so much hypocrisy too, like french cuisine is built around simplicity, and its still posh food, italian food celebrates fucking herbs, ours celebrates herbs too.

british food is bland cause its what poor people ate. nothing more nothing less. my ancestors couldnt afford spices, so they used herbs (something readily available in british country side) and instead made food to fill their husbands up after a hard day working. british food is made to be calorie dense, so a working man could come home after burning hundereds if not thousands of calories working, and eat a meal packed full of veg, and meat and potatoes. this is the roots of our cuisine.

shepards pie, minced meat (couldve been leftover meat from a sunday roast, or from a different meal, or offcuts from a butcher) is cheap, carrots and peas are cheap, gravy is cheap to make, potatoes are cheap. any herbs are free.

sunday roast. stuffing, (breadcrums from the week, flavoured with things readily available, herbs and onions or apple) veg, potatoes, yorkies (flour egg and milk).

we have such a rich history (as long as your aware of the colonial oppression many people faced). our culture and food are side swept for no fucking reason. other countries had colonies, took slaves and fought to keep it that way, we are the worst of it, but that doesnt mean france didnt do anything.

we destroyed africa, india and america. india being the worst, as we are solely responsible for that. the way we treated india, pakistan and bangledesh is sickening.

the history of pre colonial africa is hidden, and america is full of racist self entitled immigrants, from people who escaped britain for a better life.

we fucked the world, but our food is not to blame.

[snortinglaughter]

Flowers and Antlers.

Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3

It is a general belief held by the Wizarding World that only those who are pure of heart are able to perform the Patronus Charm. According to legend, one of the most famous Patronuses of all time was a lowly mouse that belonged to a young wizard named Illyius. Illyius cast the Patronus Charm while his village was being attacked by the Dark wizard Raczidian and his army of Dementors. Despite the mouse’s diminutive size, it shone with the brightest of lights, bringing the Dementors to a halt as it nimbly moved through the ranks of fleeing villagers. Enraged, Raczidian decided to enter the fray himself and tried to summon a Patronus to ward off Illyius’s mouse. However, he failed to remember that only the pure of heart can produce a Patronus, and thus, for the first time in history, it was revealed what happens when a competent but unworthy wizard or witch attempts the spell. Maggots shot out of Raczidian’s wand and quickly devoured him as they engulfed his entire body.

Harry closed the book, horrified by what he had just read; the silence in the library had never felt heavier. He didn’t know if Malfoy would ask him for help, but he wanted to be ready if he did. Harry had excused himself to Ron and Hermione by saying he would go to Madam Pomfrey for a headache potion, but instead had used his free period to do some quick research.

Malfoy had been branded with the Dark Mark, but Harry had witnessed his attempt to cast the charm last night and nothing wretched had happened; it gave Harry hope.

“I know what you did.”

Harry looked up, his eyes widening; Malfoy was standing next to him.

“W-what?” he stuttered, covering the book’s title as much as his hands allowed.

“I know what you did. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice?” Malfoy said with a raised eyebrow.

“Shit,” Harry whispered; when he’d left the Charms classroom he’d thought he’d been stealthy-smooth, like a ninja in one of those movies Dudley used to watch. “Listen, Malfoy I… I thought -”

“Thought what, exactly? Being The-Tit-Who-Lived doesn’t give you the right to search through my belongings, Potter,” said Malfoy with the poshest of accents.

Harry remembered his little burst of curiosity the night before and his jaw dropped almost to the floor.

“How did you -”

“I never leave my sketchbook under my pillow.” Malfoy bit his lip and looked around for any eavesdroppers. “I’d appreciate it if you’d keep whatever you saw to yourself.”

He stalked out of the library without another word. Harry stuffed the book in his bag and followed; he couldn’t let Malfoy walk away like that.

“Malfoy, wait!” Harry grabbed him by the elbow, making him stop reluctantly. “Listen, I shouldn’t have; it was wrong, I know. I did take it and I’m sorry, but I didn’t open it; I promise.”

Malfoy frowned slightly.

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? Did you want me to have a look or not?” Harry frowned a tad deeper. Was this a contest to see who could scrunch their forehead the most?

“No, I mean, why are you apologizing? Why are you being nice about this?”

“Because…”

Harry’s heart skipped a beat; ‘because I have a massive crush on you’ didn’t seem like the right answer at the moment. He looked around as if expecting the suits of armor in the corridors would give him advice. One of the portraits, an old witch who was aiming her ear trumpet at them, gave him an encouraging nod when she realized Harry was looking at her.

“Because I want you to show me; I want you to want to show me.”

He was making a statement; Harry hoped Malfoy would understand what came with it. Malfoy swallowed hard and Harry couldn’t help noticing the slight bobbing of his Adam’s apple. Green eyes bored into grey ones; something hot ran down Harry’s spine, making the hairs on his arms stand. They inadvertently moved closer; Harry’s heart seemed to want to crawl up his throat.

“Yes,” Malfoy whispered.

They were standing so close now, their breaths ragged.

“Ahem!”

They jumped at the sound and looked around until they realized it came from the witch with the ear trumpet; she giggled quietly.

“Yes,” Malfoy repeated, recovering his composure. “I - I���d like that.”

Harry tried, but couldn’t stop a massive grin that almost reached his ears.

“We, um, we can talk about it after class, or tomorrow - whenever you want.”

“Tonight, in the Common Room.” Malfoy’s gaze drifted to Harry’s lips. “I’d like to have my arm back, Potter.”

Harry hadn’t even been aware that he was still gripping it.

“Right, of course; there you go,” he said as he almost reluctantly let go. “Tonight, then.”

“See you, Potter.” Malfoy smiled.

Harry couldn’t stop staring at Malfoy for the rest of the day: during class, in the corridors, as they entered the Great Hall.

“Harry, watch where you’re going!” Hermione said.

“Wha – oh, sorry.” He had stepped on her heel, making Hermione step out of her shoe.

“What is it with you today?” She frowned, wiggling her foot to get it in her shoe again.

“Oh, um,” he looked at the Slytherin table, catching Malfoy’s gaze. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Sorry, mate; she already has a date for the Yule Ball,” Ron joked.

“Damn, maybe next year,” said Harry, making his way to the Hufflepuff table. “So, ‘Mione, do you think it’s possible for a Dark Wizard to cast a Patronus?”

“Why? Is this for a DADA essay?” She frowned, “I don’t remember Professor Daythorn saying anything about it.”

“No, no; it’s – it’s kind of…” Harry looked to her side, making sure Ron was too busy stuffing his mouth with Shepard’s pie. “Kind of personal,” he mumbled.

“Oh?” Hermione frowned in confusion for a moment before realization hit her; Harry could swear she looked straight at Malfoy for a fraction of a second. “Oh! Well, um. Ron, I forgot my Potions book in the dungeon.”

“Agh c’mon ‘Mione, ‘m ‘bout to stah wih’ da roaf beef.” Harry never failed to be amazed by Ron’s capacity to speak with his mouth full without spitting any bits of food.

“Please, babe?” Hermione pouted.

“Fine,” Ron sighed and gulped. “Don’t let anyone near my plate; be back in a jiffy.”

Hermione waited until Ron was far enough away and then turned to Harry giving him a very McGonagall-ish look.

“Ok, let’s hear it.”

“Hear what? I just -”

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Harold; I know this is about Malfoy.” Her expression softened when Harry didn’t answer. “You’re my brother and I love you, Harry; I don’t know what exactly is going on between you two, but if he hurts you I’ll flip him like a fucking omelet.”

Harry was momentarily speechless. He’d never heard Hermione speak like this, but it made him smile –and a little proud.

“That being said, Snape and Dumbledore ensured Malfoy’s soul was kept intact, and I don’t think he’s truly an evil person; I’ve always thought he tried to help you back - back in the Manor,” Harry took her hand and she squeezed back, giving him a sad smile. “We all went through hell in that place, but he was the one who lived for months under the same roof with the madman who tortured him and his parents; I think Malfoy could be able to perform the charm if he can concentrate on a happy memory, Harry, but maybe he doesn’t have happy memories at all.”

Harry was sitting on one of the couches in front of the fireplace in the Common Room; he quit trying to join his friends’ conversation as mixed memories of old quarreling and sixth year kept distracting him. Ever since he’d spoken with Hermione earlier, his mind had been a tangle of roads, all of them leading to the same destination: Malfoy.

Harry had seen him go up the stairs; he thought of following, but decided that being alone in the dorm after the moment they’d shared outside the library was quite dangerous. That was another thing he kept thinking of; Harry had never felt the same way with Ginny –not to mention Cho– and he’d barely touched Malfoy’s arm, for-crying-out-loud. And then, that night when he’d thought Malfoy and Neville were a couple… The only time he could remember being that angry was when he’d lost control of his magic and inflated Aunt –‘stop it, she’s not your Aunt’– Marge.

“Are you coming, Harry?” Ron looked at him expectantly; they were the only ones left in the common room, Harry realized.

“I’ll stay here just a tad longer, mate.”

His friend looked like he was about to question him, but merely shrugged and said his goodnight. Ron had a way of knowing when something was bothering him, and Harry had never been more grateful for it; he wasn’t quite ready to talk about this whole feelings thing and, besides, he had no idea what Ron’s reaction would be.

Harry got more nervous as the minutes passed by; would Malfoy really show up to their d- meeting? Maybe the other lads in the dorm were still awake; maybe Harry should just go upstairs and leave it for some other time. No, he should stay, give Malfoy a few minutes; he was probably just as nervous as Harry. It was five past midnight on his wristwatch. What if Malfoy had gone to the bathroom and accidentally locked himself in? Harry should probably go check. No, no; he should wait.

A light shuffling sound came from the stairs at his back; Harry felt the nape of his neck bristle. He awkwardly stood up and turned to see Malfoy in navy blue pajama bottoms and a tight –very tight— matching long-sleeved V-neck; sketchbook in hand. Harry’s fingers itched with the urge to touch pale collarbones. Thank Merlin he was still in his school robes; they were proving to be very useful at the moment.

“Potter.” Malfoy was smiling; Harry was sure Malfoy knew he looked fit as hell.

“Malfoy,” Harry responded, trying to summon the calmest expression he could manage as he sat with his hands fisted at his sides.

“I apologize for taking so long,” Malfoy said, sitting beside him at a safe distance; a whiff of cool minty freshness filled Harry’s nose.

“No, that’s quite alright. Um, listen, Malfoy, I just - about what happened in sixth -”

“Stop.” Malfoy looked directly into his eyes. “We both made the wrong decision that day. I’ve put it behind me.”

Harry was about to protest but fell silent as Malfoy determinedly opened the sketchbook and an image of a flower caught his eye.

It was a drawing of a narcissus in grey and white shades; the lines were smooth and flowing, giving Harry a sense of serenity. He was so used to the school portraits and hideous vegetable paintings at the Dursley’s that he was awestruck for a moment; he’d never seen anything like it.

“May I?” Harry asked.

Malfoy slowly passed the sketchbook over; it felt as if he was about to hand Harry a piece of his heart. Harry lightly touched the sheet, almost certain that he would feel the soft petals with his fingertips.

“Did you use magic?”

“One would think magic would give you a better result, but I’ve learned the muggle way is better; you have more control over the lines.” Malfoy watched Harry’s face intently.

Harry skimmed through pages of drawings of different types of flowers. He didn’t know the names of most of them, although he recognized a peony. When did Malfoy learn to do this? How was he so good?

He turned another page and his heart stopped.

On the page was a majestic pair of Stag antlers. The heavy contrast of dark and light created a sense of realism that made the drawing seem to pop off of the paper.

His heart began beating again with so much force that it seemed it was trying to smash its way out of his ribcage. Harry could see it beating through his chest; he could barely control his agitated breathing. Harry was afraid he might implode.

“It’s beautiful.” The words came out as a soft whisper.

Harry looked up and took in every detail of Malfoy’s face: his slightly thicker bottom lip and pronounced cupid’s bow, smooth pale skin that highlighted the pinkish tint of his cheeks, and those vivid grey eyes.

“Beautiful.”

Read more on Ao3

[tales-from-the-watchpoint]

Moira,Ana, and Symmetra's chef SO makes them their favorite childhood meal

A good pure request, I loveit. (especially since I have some FILTH coming up later) I got Way Too Excitedso have a short novel for each character >////

ANA didher best not to impose on your gift too often- maybe asking for a teacake everyso often, or letting you cook the dinners, but not much beyond that. Being achef sounded like a tiring if not fulfilling career, leaving you worn out atthe end of a twelve hour day.

With both of you being so exhausted, most of the meals youshared were simple; macaroni and cheese, canned soups, salad. Even so, yourtalent managed to make even the most banal of dishes taste incredible (Fareeha,through her laughter, politely disagreed and decided that her mother must betoo head over heels to realize that you fell back on Velveeta as often as youdid artisan cheeses).

When Ana returned from a difficult mission, her entire body notfeeling bruised so much as like abruise, she chose not to expect anything special. If she was correct, the restaurantyou ran had recently hosted a well-known food critic; she remembered you agonizingover the croissants and the vinegar-to-oil ratio of the dressing for hours. Youwere likely already asleep, it was after 10 PM, after all. A sandwich would do,even if she wasn’t feeling particularly excited about another prepackaged meal.

She stopped short, though, when a familiar smell wafted out ofyour shared apartment. Was that…?

Your specialty had always biased more towards Italian andLatin-American cuisine, so the last thing she expected when she stumbled intothe apartment, skinning off her coat and shoes, was a large helping of Kushariwith tiny shawarma wraps next to it.

“You’re ridiculous.” Shehadn’t meant for those to be the first words she would say to you in nearly threeweeks, but the edge was taken off by her throwing her arms around you in astrong embrace. “How did you know I loved kushara?”

You laughed and shrugged sheepishly. “…I asked Fareeha. Now Idon’t know about you, but I’m very hungry.Care to take a seat?”

Each bite was better than the last, both of you attempting toshovel as much food in your mouths as you could without being too impolite.

“Love, what would it take for you to make this every night?” Anaasked. “I forgot how good this tastes.” She paused, fork half-buried in thenoodles. “…Tastes like home.”

“A lifetime supply of cumin and lentils, to start.” You joked. “Butif it makes you this happy every time you eat it… I’m willing to do anything.”

MOIRAawoke in a bit of disarray- cheek plastered to the researchpapers she had spread out on her desk, red hair falling in tousled waves,having fallen out of her normal hairstyle. She blinked a few times, allowedherself a quiet groan, and straightened up in her seat, popping out the jointsin her neck and back. Good God, shewas getting old. Now where was-

A loud grumbling from her own stomach interrupted Moira’sthoughts. Great. One of these days,she was going to engineer herself far past the point of needing such pettycreature comforts as eating or sleeping. But that would not be for a long whileyet- not while she had so much other work to do.

She stood up, pushing her chair in with her hip as she moved forthe break room in the labs. Protein bars tasted like concrete, but had enoughto keep her going if paired with an energy drink. The gnawing hunger grew moreintense- maybe two protein bars, then.

When she entered the break room, she was more than a littlesurprised to find you there, waiting patiently with your hands clasped behindyour back.

“Moira!” you smiled. “You finally got my text, then? Food’s alittle bit cold but it’s still good.”

“What? I…” Moira checked her phone, finding an unread messagefrom you. “…Yes, of course. Thank you.” She said awkwardly, blushing a little.

“Shepard’s pie… soda bread… and some apple pie for dessert.” Youpresented proudly, quickly breaking formation to adjust the sprig of parsleythat garnished the Shepard’s pie.

Moira was silent, her expression blank. While she seemedoutwardly indifferent, she saw her mother’s hands kneading at dough from whenshe was a little girl. A pleasant memory that made her feel warmer than she’dfelt in a while. At her silence, you grew visibly nervous, scraping loose hairsbehind your ear as you rambled.

“I just, ah… it’s just… you mentioned liking some Shepard’s pieand- and you’ve been working so hard lately and I thought- I thought-“

You were silenced by Moira’s lips on yours, soft and gentle asshe could manage. When you pulled apart, she rested her hands on yourshoulders, looking down at you fondly with her forehead against yours.

“How did I get so lucky to meet one such as you?” she askedaloud.

“Lord knows you needed someone to take care of you.” You saidback, playfully tapping your nose. “Now please- eat. If you keep forgetting your meals you’ll waste away!”

SYMMETRAdidn’t quite understand your relationship with food, but she didrespect it. She visited your restaurant on her days off, saw how you couldbring people to tears with how good your food tasted (not just because of thespice, either). She also learned from you why she wasn’t a very good cook-cooking was more of an art than a science, you’d explained, one hand stirring amixture for Thai green curry while the other tapped along to the song thatplayed on the radio.

“The most important ingredient in any dish is love.” You said.

Which was strange, considering how love was an abstract conceptthat couldn’t be defined, much less mixed into a stew or loaf of bread. ButSatya understood what you meant, more or less.

She got a little suspicious and a lot confused when you startedpoking her with questions, namely what her favorite meal from childhood was.When she answered that she didn’t have acomfort food, you gasped, turning pale before dragging her on what you called “aculinary tour of the city”, most of which involved the two of you shivering inrain as you waited for a table at several trendy places and many more hole-in-the-walljoints.

“Soooo, how’s this taste?” you asked, pushing a plate of somekind of curry-like soup towards her.

Cautiously, she took a small spoonful, pausing to consider thetaste.

“It’s fine.” She finally said, placing the spoon back in thesoup. “Sour.”

Your face lit up, hurriedly scrambling to write down… whateverit was that had you so excited. “We have a winner!” you exclaimed. “Okay, wecan go home now.”

Satya sighed, but smiled at your excitement. She wasn’t one forgoing out, but seeing you so happy made her heart warm.

A few nights later, she was entirely unsurprised to find you inthe kitchen, waiting for her with more of that soup and a hopeful, if nervous,grin.

“It’s called Pachi Pulusu.” You explained, spooning puffed riceover the mixture, waiting for her in her favorite bowl. “I got the recipe fromthe chef, but… I threw it out and decided to do my own thing, y’know?”

“I’m sure it will taste fine,” Satya assured you. “I would liketo try it.”

She took the spoon you held out for her and brought the soup toher lips. “It’s…” Difficult to describe. Spice on her tongue, but pleasantwarmth and sweetness in her stomach. “It’s good.”

You grinned. “New comfort food?”

“You’re my comfortfood.” she said, then blushed and sputtered, nearly dropping the spoon. “Imean- I meant- I- that wasn’t-!”

You silenced her with a kiss, holding back your laughter. “I know, silly. Now eat before it gets cold.”